Step Families and Child Support
In most cases, a Step Family consists of one parent with their children in the home and the other parent with their children living elsewhere. The Couple see child support coming in and child support going out which automatically can set up what appears to feel like an unbalanced situation – the “visiting” children’s parent already taking money out of the household income to pay out the Child Support and then when the children come for a visit, most times the parent pays for activities while they are visiting (family outings).
It can be a real bone of contention for some families and many disputes and hurt feelings arise. The following is an example of how one family was able to reach agreement in mediation to help “balance” the situation;
With the visiting children being old enough to contribute around the house – one family decided that between their four children and the parents – Saturday mornings consisted of pulling two chores each out of a hat and everyone’s chore was to be done by a certain time. All the children were given the same allowance for their chores and as a family they chose what the fun family weekend activity was going to be after all the jobs were done. With the visiting children taking part in helping to maintain the home it helped them feel included in the “family” while at the same time earning some spending money for the outing.
I’m interested in hearing how other step families deal with Child Support?
Write in and share your ideas…. I look forward to hearing from you.
August 30th, 2008 at 11:13 am
The start of a Marriage with step families can be the start of the “New Reality” for everyone involved. What was acceptable prior to the Marriage can become questionnable after the Marriage. Child Support is just one item that is up to scrutiny as the families adjust. Where Child Support is acceptable prior to the marriage all of the sudden the Step Family is trying to juggle a new homelife which involves income and expenses for a minimum of two families. This is where things can get difficult because as they try and deal with “fairness” the legal Child Support Guidelines rarely factures in changing situations for families.
February 3rd, 2009 at 1:52 pm
It is really difficult having a new family with one parent paying for child support for his first family. Problems arise when the payments were originally acceptable, but then the payments go up drastically. The “2nd” family just has to deal with a sudden loss of income. In our case the payments went from $600/month to over $1000/month when the ex wife quit her job and both teenagers needed braces! Our 2 children will NOT be getting braces, as we can’t afford them, but yet my husband was forced to pay 100% (not even 50%) for his first kids. It is really hard to know our kids don’t “count” as having the financial needs to both parents, yet first kids are entitled to the financial support of both parents. Beware if you marry a man who pays CS, it can drastically increase without warning!
August 2nd, 2009 at 8:38 am
Yes, it feels unfair yet my immediate thought is why were the braces made to be mandatory and 100% paid by your husband? Dental work is considered an Special Expense that is shared by both parents in proportion to their income. Did the children HAVE to get braces right away? Given that this is the current situation can your husband not go back to his ex once she obtains employment and re-evaluate the expenses to even it out then?
November 11th, 2009 at 7:15 am
very informative and great post, thnx for sharing.